Answering the Surgeon General’s Call: Building a Culture of Care for Parents 

By Dana Guy, PEPS Executive Director (Estimated reading time: 5 minutes)

At PEPS, we’ve been big fans of former U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy since we read his book Together, which brought attention to the loneliness epidemic. So we were excited to see him spotlighting another critical public health concern that often remains hidden behind closed doors in his recent advisory, Parents Under Pressure: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Mental Health & Well-Being of Parents.  

The State of Parenting Today 

Since the advisory was released, I keep hearing one thing in my conversations with PEPS staff, our board, and members of our community: they feel seen. So many parents have been struggling and wondering if it’s just them. But, as we often hear in PEPS Groups, parents are not alone in feeling stressed and overwhelmed.  

One (of many) dire statistics from the advisory: 48% of parents say their stress is completely overwhelming most days.  

The advisory highlights how today’s parents are facing additional challenges on top of the traditional stressors of parenthood; issues like social media, an epidemic of loneliness, and the youth mental health crisis add new complexities to parenting today.  

“As technological and economic forces have reshaped the world at a rapid pace, parents may find it more difficult to prepare children for a future that is uncertain.”

U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Mental Health & Well-Being of Parents 

The Recommendations 

The findings in the advisory may be heavy, but the Surgeon General offered recommendations for how we can address this issue. The advisory calls for fostering a culture of connection among parents to combat loneliness and isolation. More than half of parents report feeling lonely, and we know that parenting is far more difficult when done in isolation. The advisory highlights the importance of creating spaces for parents to have an open dialogue about the challenges of parenting, which helps combat feelings of shame and guilt and foster mutual support. 
 
And guess what? That’s exactly what we do at PEPS — and what we have been doing for the past 40 years. We strive to make every PEPS Group a safe space for parents to talk openly about their highs and lows, their struggles, and stressors. So much is built from that foundation of families sitting in a circle together – community, care, mutual support and reciprocity, celebration, joy, laughter, and more. Social connection and community are an antidote to stress.  

How do we build a culture of care for parents? 

Dr. Murthy has spoken: the well-being of parents and caregivers is a critical public health priority. So now what? What can we do? 

On an individual level: 

• Recognize the importance of social connection for well-being. Prioritize social connection for yourself and find spaces to be in community with others. 

• Check in with parents and caregivers in your life consistently. Listen with empathy and be a steady, supportive presence.  

• Offer concrete support by bringing a meal, offering to help with childcare, or helping with laundry or grocery shopping. More support can help reduce the impact of stress – every small gesture can make a difference! 

On a community level:  

• We need more spaces where parents can connect, build community, and have authentic conversations. This is what we do at PEPS, and we need our community’s help to make it happen. You can support PEPS by:  

• Volunteering to lead a PEPS Group to help families find connection and support.  

• Donating to PEPS to ensure our groups are accessible to all parents and help us innovate, expand, and refine our programs. 

• Join our Advisors & Ambassadors Network to share your lived experience, perspective, subject matter expertise, or passion for PEPS.  

• PEPS isn’t the only organization doing the important work of supporting parents’ well-being! We encourage you to support organizations like Families of Color Seattle, Perinatal Support Washington, Open Arms Perinatal Services, or any of our PEPS Community Partners. 

On a systems level: 

• Think about your sphere of influence – how can you advocate for parent-friendly policies in your workplace, schools, and other institutions?  

• Sign up for PEPS advocacy alerts to stay informed and use your voice at key moments to advocate for policies that provide a foundation of stability for Washington families, like paid family leave and affordable childcare.  

• Engage with family-focused advocacy organizations like MomsRising to drive federal-level change. 

A Call to Action 

Public advisories from the nation’s top doctor can be turning points in American life. As the former Surgeon General said in his advisory, caregivers need care, too. As a society, we need to invest in and value parenting and caregiving because the stress of parents directly impacts the stress of kids. Simply put, when parents and caregivers are well, their children thrive, and that helps build a brighter future for all of us. 

As Dr. Murthy finished his second term as Surgeon General, he gave us the gift of a Parting Prescription for America. In it, he reflects on his service and what he learned from listening to people across the country.  

“Like most people, I sometimes find myself worried about whether I’m achieving enough, getting enough recognition, or making enough money. In those moments, I think about the patients I cared for at the end of their lives and what they shared with me about what made for a fulfilling life. It was never the size of their bank accounts, the number of their followers, or their list of achievements. It was always about people. The people they loved. The people they served. The people whose lives they touched. In the end, when only the most meaningful strands of life remain, this is what matters. America and the world need a new generation of community builders.”  

U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy’s Parting Prescription for America

By investing your time, energy, and resources in improving life for parents and families, you can be part of a groundswell of change.