I always wanted to be on the HGTV show House Hunters so before the ink was even dry on our mortgage application, I went online to apply. A producer wrote back right away claiming she wanted to help us get on the show and then she promptly crushed my soul. No, not because they eventually rejected us (that’s a different…
I don’t like newborns. There. I said it. Or rather, I didn’t like taking care of a newborn. It wasn’t his fault. My son was a great baby, but I was a hot mess. Exhausted, clueless, terrified, panicky, and continuously questioning my life choices about sums up those first few months. “Enjoy it!” friends and strangers told me. “It goes…
Tis the season for parties, traditions, and family gatherings near and far—all of which you might be shunning or dreading now that you have a plus one in tow. But fear not! Heeding this advice will have you dashing through the season like you’re on a one-horse open sleigh. Expect the Worst: My husband Bart is a huge Star Wars…
The other day I pulled up in front of my son Quinn’s daycare and he yelled, “I’m home!” Well, hold on there, Champ, I thought. Do you see any mac and cheese smears on those windows or Thomas the Tank Engine playing in a loop while 56 hours of quality Bravo television dies a slow, lonely death on the DVR…
Ah, the joys of parenthood. “Cherish every moment,” you hear. “It goes so fast!” Yeah, well, when entering the active labor stage was your last relaxing evening at home, I assure you— not fast enough. Yes, there are plenty of joyful moments. But there are plenty of miserable ones, which are exactly the ones I wished people talked about. The…
One day while grocery shopping, an elderly woman interrupted a conversation I was having with another mother. “Oh please tell me you’re nursing,” she said to the mom of a seven-week-old girl. Not waiting for an answer, she spun with surprising spunk to face me. “You nursed, right? You must have! Isn’t it wonderful?” And that’s when I punched her…
You have a new baby and your parental leave has begun! All those blissful weeks ahead of bonding and relaxing. My well-timed July baby meant lazy afternoons lounging by Coleman Pool and al fresco lunches with my unemployed friends. Maybe I’d finally get around to painting the downstairs bathroom. Maybe I’d take up sewing. Maybe I’d make jam or learn…